Self medication

One of the main reasons I don't twitter is that most of my twitters (I know, but I refuse to use the word "tweet" in a sentence) would be extremely passive aggressive.  Its very easy and therapeutic to release anger and frustration in a public forum.  How dangerous that would be for me.  I think if people realized how liberally I attach the label "moron" or "idiot" to things and people...well...relationships and rapport just might be a tad different.

Instead, I self-medicate using methods that I've proven to work for me. 

*Lil' Wayne radio on the way home from work.  (Don't judge - I think its the obnoxious lyrics.)
*Breakfast wine.  (Don't judge.  Its blackberry.  I blame my mother.  Haha...kidding mom.  But seriously...its like juice that contains sleeping medicine.)
*The internet.  Email.  Facebook.  Blogging (heaven help me). 
*My bathtub music playlist.  Well, certain songs.  Band of Horses.  Guided by Voices.  The Fray (don't judge....I blame Scrubs for making me like the Fray). 
*800 thread-count sheets.  (Feel free to judge as much as you desire) 
*The fact that I can enjoy the last four simultaneously. 

How I really feel

My goal...

The man who doesn't relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on. ~ Elbert Hubbard

One year

Its officially been one year since I started this blog.  *insert weak cheer here*

Margaret's birthday present.  *crosses fingers*  If you can guess what it is, I'll send some to you too.

Just ignore me.  I'm having a bad day.

Some colors exist in dreams that are not present in the waking spectrum. ~ Terri Guillemets

Roundup

Weekend roundup:

Apple Cinnamon Oat firehydrants

Cheesy dog houses and dogs

Sweet potato & cheese Latkes (Atticus can NEVER EVER say I don't spoil him)

Bought my tickets for my April Vegas vacation....

Discovered the following in my kitchen...

Angel Wing roots!  The cross-country experiment worked!

Bought the 3-parts I need for my sister-in-law's birthday present.  Still waiting for part 1 to arrive.

Bought my first pair of actual work-out-type sneakers (that don't say Converse or Airwalk on them) since...college?  I plan to start doing Zumba on Monday.  Yes, I'm joining that really annoying craze. 



Cut out and sewed countless Steelers penants.  Almost done!






My first hat-making experiment.  It actually fits me (kind of), but it needs more of something.  I'm still trying to figure it out.  Meanwhile, Atticus stoicly remains my model.






























Now its off to work for my 12 hour Monday!

There aren't enough days in the weekend. ~ Rod Schmidt

An update

Less than a week of new meds, and I'm already feeling way better.  Less tired, more motivation, not so cold, and I'm HUNGRY all the time.  Crazy.  Today  I'm hoping I can put that motivation to work:  I have birthday presents to finish, Christmas stuff to pack away, cleaning to finish, and dog biscuits to make.

Speaking of which, I found these at the grocery store last night.  Completely and utterly random:

Dog themed cookie cutters!  LtoR: Dog, Fire Hydrant, Paw, Dog House, Bone.

I'm hoping that tonight or tomorrow I will have lots to report and pictures to show.  I'm finishing up my morning coffee, and then heading to the kitchen. 

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. ~ Dennis Wholey

Feeling better

Want to know a way to feel instantly better?

Receive three thank-you cards in the mail..

Here's a sigh to those who love me,
And a smile to those who hate;
And, whatever sky's above me,
Here's a heart for every fate.
~ George Gordon, Lord Byron

Relief

So I pretty much lazed away today.  I rewatched most of season 4 of Psych.  Watched the entire Season 1 of the Office (before you gasp, its only 6 episodes long).  Took some naps. Read some blogs.  (which by the way, there's nothing that will make you feel worse than doing nothing all day while reading about all these women who apparently juggle parenting, home schooling, crafting, an etsy shop, making dinner every night, while still having time to paint their house.  I mean, really.  Plus, these people are now decorated for Valentines day, and I still have yet to take down my Christmas decorations.)

I even surfed a bunch of sites looking for something to buy.  Yes, I was looking for a present for myself.  No, I didn't do anything to deserve it, but still.  A coworker told me about fleece sheets, so I was looking for a set for me.  Didn't end up getting them, but I surfed just about all of Anthropologie's website, am now watching about 100 ebay auctions, spent way too long on etsy, and skimmed through amazon, overstock.com, and a couple of other fabric and pattern sites.  Would you believe i found nothing to buy for myself?  At least nothing that shouted my name or "buy me" loud enough.  I think thats tied to the whole lack of motivation thing. 

I finally ended up making a purchase though - well, 2 purchases.  Two songs at the iTunes store....total purchase price: $1.98.  Big spender today.

My big accomplishment of the day was making Atticus biscuits.  The pumpkin biscuits I made him several months ago he didn't really like, but I found a new recipe in a different book, and after tweaking it a little, I have settled on something that he actually really likes. 

A stack of stars ready to be baked

I just checked my email and saw that part 1 of my blood test results are in.  I know there is a lot wrong with HMOs etc, but computerized test results are not one of them. 

Let me take you on a quick side explanation of hyperthyroidism.  While there are several tests to be run for it, my maintenance blood tests are TSH (reflexive) and T3 total.  They work in tandem with one another - when one is high, the other is low, and vice versa. 

Average results from a normal person put TSH reults between 0.3 & 5.5.   Normal results from my TSH results are off the charts low.  Usually less than .0005:  as my doctor explained to me "they could keep testing your blood til they get exact results, but whats the point?  They could be at it for days, and the end result would be the same - your thyroid is hyperactive". 

Anyways, my most recent TSH results are 25.9.   Not off the charts quite yet, but still labeled "extremely high".  What a huge relief.  Yes, this means I'm battling a different type of problem (hypothyroidism), but FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY, I know why I've been feeling the way I have.  Not that I'm looking for something to blame, but it makes me feel better that biology is responsible for my laziness.  I'm still waiting for my T3 results, but I predict them to be low.  *crosses fingers*  

What does this mean?  Other than meds for the rest of my life....it means the radiation I got over a year ago finally worked.  It means I can finally go see the blasted eye doctor (long story).  It means I don't need more radiation.  And it means that hopefully I can get on some meds and feel back to normal again.  I really can't wait. 

And because I feel so relieved, here are some more pictures that make me smile....

The only valentines decorating I will do...



In case you didn't believe me, please notice my Christmas stocking hanging up in the background.  I took this picture today.  I should hang my head in shame...



Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials. ~ Lin Yutang

Saturday's cycle

I started a cycle of cleaning today.  Not on purpose, mind you.  But it went a little something like this...

Woke up early. 

Sun shining.

Felt guilty for Atticus's lack of exercise.

Went to the dog park (got to wear my new rain boots - they came in handy in all the mud!)

Atticus, typically, got covered in mud and other dog slime.

Came home.

Gave Atticus a bath.

The bathtub is now dirty, and I used the last of the dog towels.  There's also bathwater covering most of the bathroom (Never turn your back on a wet dog).

Dog towels into the washing machine.

Bleaching the bath tub.

Now I HAVE to clean up the rest of the bathroom.  Otherwise it's going to permanently smell like wet dog.

No place to put the clean dog-towel laundry (cause I never cleaned out my laundry basket from the last 6 loads I did...haha...whoops).

Go to put towels on my bed, but realize I should probably wash my blanket first. 

New load of laundry....

And so it goes. 


A rare sunny January day....

In other news, my doctor thinks my thyroid treatment I got over a year ago has finally worked due to symptoms I've been having.  I should know by Friday the results of my blood test.  Never have I ever wished for a new disease before in my life - it'd be nice to have an explanation for all this crap I'm dealing with.  Yes, that is the medical terminology for it all:  crap.

Okay, break's over.  Back to cleaning....

Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. ~ Lao Tzu