Vacation mode

In vacation mode!!!! 

Ready to take time and do whatever I want...

Dinner and movies with Mariah....

 And spend a lot of time with these two guys...

A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what it's built for.
~ Albert Einstein

Girl day

I'm having a girl day.  And not in the good way.  It's one of those days where real or imagined, everything sucks.  And the small things are suddenly big things...

- my whoopie pies didn't turn out right.  They're kinda undercooked in the middle.  And they're my contribution to a party I'm heading to in less than 30 minutes.  *Sigh*

- I accidentally got pureed pumpkin on my vacuum.  Don't ask.

- There's a hole in the toe of my socks.

- I haven't been to the gym more than once in 2 weeks.  I feel like a tub of lard.

- I'm out of laundry soap, so that means 20 minutes of grating a bar of castile soap to make my own.

- It is so frigidly freaking cold here, I actually turned up both my thermostat heat and my fireplace.  I'm tired of being cold inside.  So much for keeping my heating bills down.

- I have 3 days of dayshift at the Academy starting tomorrow.  I don't want to go.  I don't want to dress up in my stupid monkey suit with shiny shoes (which are falling apart), and make nice and be friendly for 3 days with people I've never met before.  Did I mention I don't want to go?

- My 3 day weekend, which ends today, was not enough to make up for working 10 days in a row.  Not nearly enough.

I know this is such a pitiful list.  There are far more important things that people are worrying about. Well, selfishly, I don't currently care. 

Common sense is not so common.
~ Voltaire

An apology and a half hearted explanation

No posts for 3 weeks.  Oi!  But here's some excuses....

Biggest excuse:  my computer died.  And it died slowly....losing features bit by bit.  Each day I'd say to myself "well, I can live without that part of my computer..."....until it finally just wouldn't turn on.  It would sit and think.  It took about 4 days of it sitting and thinking for me to finally admit I needed a new computer. 

I hate technology.  I really do.  I think it's cool, but it scares me and I'm not good with it.  My smartphone is the extent of my knowledge and even then, I know there are  a lot of features on it I don't use.  Luckily, a coworker had just bought a laptop and told me about it - it was simple, big screen, and most importantly - cheap. 

So, I headed off to Best Buy with the SKU #.  Had to order the computer as it was not stocked in the store.  Although they said I'd receive it in a few days, it was over a week as it came to the store on Black Friday. 

Then came the internet.  I have not paid for internet in about 5 years, instead using the unlimited data package on my phone and tethering my phone to my computer.  I estimate I've saved roughly $1000-$1500 over the years by using what I already have.  I'm not about to pay for internet now.  But, upon looking at the computer, I was utterly lost.  Have you seen Windows 8? 

So, after 2 days of trying to figure out my phone and sending emails to the tethering app tech support, I called Comcast.  And what did Comcast tell me?  My house isn't on their service list.  In fact, after looking outside of my house and in each room, there is not a single cable coming out of the wall.  Who doesn't have cable?  (Other than me of course)  But yes, Comcast said they'd have to do a survey, and they'd get back to me in a week if they could even put cable internet here.  A WEEK!?!?

I was *this close* to taking my laptop to Starbucks, buying a ridiculously overpriced drink, and using their Wi-Fi for a couple of hours. 

Now, I could be doing all this internet stuff on my phone.  But have you tried to look up plane tickets on your phone?  Do financial transactions, etc?  I didn't like it. 

After I had a minor meltdown and lamenting to Atticus how much I hate technology, I took a deep breath and looked at my tethering app again, and then realized there was a button on there that took me step by step through the installation process.  So, starting from scratch, I re-did everything.  AND IT FINALLY WORKED.  I have internet!!!!!!! 

That was a long and boring story, so here is a picture to distract you....

Atticus Thanksgiving morning.  He was in dog-heaven with all the attention he was getting.

Second excuse:  I've been busy.  Yeah, I say that all the time, but I have.  For example:  right now, I'm in the middle of a 10 day stretch of work, with 4 12 hour overtime shifts sprinkled in for funsies.  Between work and the holidays, I haven't even been to the gym in over a week.  WHAT?  I know.  Absolutely ridiculous. 

Although this is not an excuse, because I've only used it once, I finally bought a TV.  It was brand new, but I bought it from the brother of a friend, because apparently this brother bought a 65inch TV and it came with a free 20 inch TV.  So, I scored the 20 inch TV, and was gifted an old DVD player.  Score! 

Isn't it pretty?

Once again, I hate technology, so someone else set this up for me. 

And last excuse.  I have a new person in my life.  Well, he's been there for awhile, but I'm just telling you about him now, so he's new.  I'll tell you about him some day.  Just not today.



It takes 3 of us to cook.  One cook, one picture taker, and one dog getting in the way looking for things to fall on the floor.

"Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say."
~ Mitch Albom

It's the simple things...

Today, and hopefully always, I'm so appreciative and thankful for the simple things:  time, ability, patience, love, and two silly little snowmen, hanging in my window...

In case you ever foolishly forget; I'm never not thinking of you.

~ Virginia Woolf

Today

I'm not sure how time keeps getting away from me like this.  It seems so slow on a day-to-day basis, but passes quick when I stop and look around.

Live the full life of the mind, exhilarated by new ideas, intoxicated by the romance of the unusual. 
~ Ernest Hemingway

The last week

It's been a busy week of work, potlucks:

Waffle iron potluck!  Pizza, cinnamon rolls, and cookies.  

hanging with friends:

my lovely friend Virginia

 getting my fireplace working:

Yay!  My house is warm!

And being happy and content.

She buried her ears
into the calm of his heartbeat,
and in a matter of seconds:
fell terribly in love
with the way her loneliness fell
softly and suddenly,
asleep, in his chest.
~ Christopher Poindexter

Content

I'm currently dwelling in contentment.

Second star to the right and straight on til morning...
~ Peter Pan

Life

Life is currently in an upswing.  And it also is raining for the first time in about 3 weeks.  

We've been instagramming birthday wishes.  I love his face in this one...

If all we can have is forever then I think we should start right now.
~ Tyler Knott Gregson

Patience

Today was a good day for my heart.

Surrender to what is.  Let go of what was.  Have faith in what will be.
~ Sonia Ricotti

Today

I'm glad you're finding your way out of the darkness...

Just realized I used this picture twice.  Ha!  Too bad...I like it!

Alice:  How long is forever?
White Rabbit:  Sometimes, just one second.
~ Lewis Carrol

Food WINS

Today, I finally picked a couple of recipes that worked.  Everything is delicious.

Roasted carrot hummus. Amazing.

Almond butter pumpkin cookies.  Pretty good.  I didn't have enough almond butter so I estimated the rest of the ingredients and I might have estimated wrong....

Pumpkin cinnamon applesauce.  By far, the best thing of the day.  Made with delicious honeycrisp apples.  

And a total FAIL.  I broke my favorite tablespoon.  The other half slid under the refrigerator.  

Right now the delicious smell of cooking apples and cinnamon has been replaced by the slightly grotesque smell of baked salmon as I have been experimenting with Atticus cookies and made him some pumpkin salmon bites.

Now I actually  need to make my FOOD food for the week - teriyaki tempeh and rice, and stop making side dishes and desserts.

We cannot cure the world of sorrows but we can choose to live in joy.
~ Joseph Campbell

A reminder

Twice in the past 3 hours I was reminded how petty my complaints and worries are.  Buck up, Alicia.  It could be far far worse.  Be grateful for what you do have, the time you did have, and for the uncertain future.  

Instructions for living a life:  Pay attention.  Be astonished.  Tell about it.

~ Mary Oliver

Apparently it's me

These are the carrots I planted inside in March/April, then planted outside in May.  When my whole garden died?  These are the only things that survived.  I just harvested them, with 5 months of growth.  I'm pretty sure something is wrong with my soil.

Be confident in the skin you are in, because that is the only body you will ever have, the only place that will ever be solely yours.  Even if you will never be as skinny as those supermodels, or the beauty who makes everyone stare, you can be beautiful in your own way.  And you have to accept that, and own it.
~ Deejae Harper

Atticus

Atticus has a big lump starting on the right side of his ribs.  We go see the vet on Wednesday.  :/

This is his stop-taking-my-picture-face.  

My mood kinda plummeted.  I don't feel like talking right now.

It is better to drink of deep griefs than to taste shallow pleasures.
~ William Hazlitt

Amid the week of dayshift

Beat

I could tell you all the details of my weekend, of my last night, of my day today, of going from graveyard to dayshift, of getting less than 3 hours of sleep, etc etc etc.

Instead, I will just say....I am beat.

Drinking my dinner.  No, that's not rootbeer.  It's me, unable to properly pour a spire dark.

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored. 
~E. Nightingale

The heart

I was driving home today, deep in thought, and something my wise friend Virginia said once popped into my head...."The heart wants what it wants."

I'm thinking of setting aside all the good-intentioned advice from friends, and follow my heart for a little.  I'm wondering where exactly it will lead.

Every girl needs some farmers market flowers.  And fruit.  And cheese....

The soul always knows what to do to heal itself.  The challenge is to silence the mind.
~ Caroline Myss

I haven't talked about food in awhile

Although I haven't talked about it, I've been making it.  Sans photos, mostly, but here's a recent recipe round-up...

Pumpkin Pie Roasted Almonds.  This recipe had an added side affect of making my entire house smell like fall.

Spicy Miso Dipped Tempeh.  I really hate tofu, but I really love tempeh.  I buy the multi-grain version at Trader Joe's.  It's my way of saving a chicken.  Also, I really don't like to handle raw meat.

Raw Peanut  Butter Pie.  Everyone at work who tried it went from skeptical to appreciative.  So apparently it tastes much better than it looks.  

Both Beet Hummus & Black Bean Hummus.  I'm pretty sure I just don't like beets.  Even in hummus.  But it makes a good sandwich filler.

Coconut Tempeh with Mango Honey Dipping Sauce.  Yeah, the recipe calls for chicken but I've already discussed my thoughts on chicken.  Still tastes awesome with tempeh.

And my crowning glory....Stuffed soft pretzels.

I made one batch stuffed with spinach, artichoke, bacon, and cheese, and the second batch stuffed with bacon and cheese.  These were gobbled up by even my most skeptical coworkers, and I brought none home.  A lot of work, but overall not so bad.  

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

~ William Shakespeare

The end of September

Rain and cold has come to the PNW.  And a fall melancholy settles over the land...

Two people have told me recently that they think I'd make a great travel partner.  I have my sights set on that next year....2014, the year of travel.

Step 1 - renew my passport.

Booking photos or passport photos?

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation itself, but your thoughts about it.
~ Eckart Tolle

Time

As I look back over the past couple of weeks, what strikes me most is how the passage of time has been the one constant that seems to make things better.  It's hard to remember both the extreme joy and extreme sadness, as time has erased those heavy feelings, leaving only a memory of what you might have been feeling.  Really, was it that good?  I don't think so.  Could it have been that bad?  Surely not, as I can't conjure up the heavy despair any more.

 Feelings of loss weaken to a dull ache.

The pang of heartbreak is a distant memory.

Likewise the extreme headiness of joy has been replaced by a faint smile at what once was or what once could have been.

And that calls into question...what will happen to change these feelings tomorrow?  One instance, one word, one THING, and the roulette wheel of possibility spins again.  Will it be good?  Will it be a disappointment?

I know time changes nothing but our perceptions and our feelings.  It quiets memories.  But WE are the ones that decide to heal, we are the ones who take the steps to change, we are the ones who make the daily sacrifices in all aspects of our lives.  Time doesn't make the decisions, time doesn't force us to change, and time doesn't sacrifice.

Time puts everything into the past and forces us to keep moving forward.  Sometimes I really want time to stop, to freeze the current feeling so I can bask in it.  Other times, I'm so glad for time.  Because surely, everything will be better tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the day after that.

I want to tell you that time heals.  But in the midst of your world, you don't want to hear my pithy phrases.  For you, time kills, time drags, and time only makes this current despair heavier.  I cannot make it better.  I can only wait:  biding time, until time has finally worked its magic on  you.

Do something instead of killing time.  Because time is killing you.  
~Paulo Coelho

Tuesday

Yesterday when I left for work I told Atticus "See you in eight hours!".  I shoulda known better.  The first week in awhile with no scheduled overtime and I'm forced into a 12 hour shift by a coworker who calls in sick.  It never ends!!!!!

I slept quite poorly this morning after work (probably due to the caffeine intake required to do a 12 hour shift), woke up after 4 hours of sleep, finished my book in the 90 degree heat of the afternoon (yay for random sunny days in September!), and headed to the gym for 2 hours.  Now I'm back and waiting for my tofu/edamame nuggets to finish baking (it's my latest Trader Joes obsession.  They're surprisingly good after I put some sweet and sour chili sauce on them.)  It's an amazingly exciting life I lead some days....

Evergreens, sunny skies, and a silly ole dog...

Yesterday was my Monday, much better than I thought it would be.  I'm almost looking forward a little to the rest of the week.

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night.
~ Edgar Allan Poe

This week

This week has been difficult.  It's work and it's personal, and its everywhere in between.  I want it to be next week already, but I have a sinking feeling it's not going to be any better.

*sigh*

I'm not sleeping well, either.  That adds to it.  I took a burnout quiz last night at work.  One week back and I'm already on the "dangerous" end of the scale.  I'm not sure how that happened.  Three and a half months til my next vacation.

Twelve hour shifts today and tomorrow, and my 7 day workweek will finally come to an end.  18 hours of overtime my first week back.  That was pretty dumb.

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven... 
~ John Milton

Last day of vacation

My last day of vacation was yesterday.  I tried to make the most out of it.  After a morning at the gym and the farmers market, a couple of us hit up the Bremerton Blackberry Festival:

"wine tasting" at 25 cents a pop.

The place was so crowded though, we opted to take advantage of our adult status and hung out in the beer garden and talked for about 3 hours.

Afterwards, my friend Ben and I hit up a tapas lounge:

Goat cheese stuffed bacon-wrapped dates.  I'm trying to figure out how I can replicate them.  

Then a movie - the End of the World.  DON'T BOTHER.  Apparently we didn't read the movie summary well enough as we were left shaking our heads afterwards.  Silly movie.

Then some hard cider and fried pickles at a local restaurant, before we called it a day.

Unfortunately, I fell asleep in exhaustion about 11pm, waking up at 7am.  This will *NOT* help me return to the graveyard shift. Not at all.....

If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy I could have won.
~ Mumford & Sons

Last post in August/Vacation Round-up

So, I don't like #1 girl singers or #2 popular music, but this song is an exception.  I don't know why, but I like it.  So listen if you want, while I post some pictures from vacation.



I spent the weekend with my friend, Sarah, in Austin, TX.

In the sidewalk outside a restaurant.

Sarah and I spent the weekend sans family.  Our first stop was a wildflower center.  Huge disappointment.  The best part was the swings.

This was the only flower I saw.

That night we went to a piano bar.  Songs were up to $100 a pop.  Ridiculous.

We didn't realize it beforehand, but we went to the piano bar in the entertainment district of Austin, and at night during the weekends, the police blockade off the entire section of the entertainment district for nightly partying.  I wish I could describe the atmosphere....it was incredible:  huge crowds of people wandering the open blocks, stopping in bars, talking, eating. It was awesome.

There were also some characters in the crowds, catering to tourists like me.....  I couldn't resist a picture. And yes, I totally put money in his underwear.

The next day we had an enlightening day in Austin, visiting first the state capital building (site of a recent popular filibuster!):

Texans love their lone star, and you saw it EVERYWHERE.  

Just in case you didn't know where you were.  

 After that we went to one of the art museums:

Part of a large art piece. These were all animal bones.

Heh heh.  I want to make him my profile picture.

View of Austin from Ladybird Lake.

 That night we went on a boat tour to see the Congress St bats:  the largest urban colony of bats in the world.  You can see all the people on the bridge waiting...

It sounds kinda gross to see a million bats at once, but it was really very awesome.

Bats heading into the sunset.

Next stop...Pennsylvania.  These are in no particular order.  Also, I omitted any photos with kid faces.

My brother and I rocking our Sevenly tshirts.

Emily playing with both dinos and Polly Pockets.  They were living in harmony.

First day of school for Andrew and Sarah. 5 out of 6 adults using their cell phones.

Emily wouldn't have her first day til 2 days later.

Dinner with an Amish family.  The (hard to see) rainbow tells you you're in the right place.

My nieces and nephews are all beautiful and full of energy.  

A day at the amusement park!

Heh heh. Sorry, Eden.  I couldn't help it.

Some kiddie rides only allowed adults on certain places.  Jonathan trying to balance on a reindeer.

Swings!

Shaylah and Eliana on a roller coaster (very back row).

Yeah I went on that.  Not my favorite.

Kiddos at the end of the day...before the downpour.

Impromptu "football" game at my sister's house.  

Eliana's rendition of me in chalk.

I convinced my mom to eat fried pickles.

My friend Erin visited from Philly and knitted me a birthday present.

Crab feed!

Andre practicing his baton skills.

Mrs Pickles.

First day of school for Eliana!

I'm really glad I don't have to re-do elementary school.  Or any type of school for that matter.

And as always, the end of vacation.  Atticus and I were happy to see each other.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. 
~E. Kubler-Ross