Time

As I look back over the past couple of weeks, what strikes me most is how the passage of time has been the one constant that seems to make things better.  It's hard to remember both the extreme joy and extreme sadness, as time has erased those heavy feelings, leaving only a memory of what you might have been feeling.  Really, was it that good?  I don't think so.  Could it have been that bad?  Surely not, as I can't conjure up the heavy despair any more.

 Feelings of loss weaken to a dull ache.

The pang of heartbreak is a distant memory.

Likewise the extreme headiness of joy has been replaced by a faint smile at what once was or what once could have been.

And that calls into question...what will happen to change these feelings tomorrow?  One instance, one word, one THING, and the roulette wheel of possibility spins again.  Will it be good?  Will it be a disappointment?

I know time changes nothing but our perceptions and our feelings.  It quiets memories.  But WE are the ones that decide to heal, we are the ones who take the steps to change, we are the ones who make the daily sacrifices in all aspects of our lives.  Time doesn't make the decisions, time doesn't force us to change, and time doesn't sacrifice.

Time puts everything into the past and forces us to keep moving forward.  Sometimes I really want time to stop, to freeze the current feeling so I can bask in it.  Other times, I'm so glad for time.  Because surely, everything will be better tomorrow.  And the next day.  And the day after that.

I want to tell you that time heals.  But in the midst of your world, you don't want to hear my pithy phrases.  For you, time kills, time drags, and time only makes this current despair heavier.  I cannot make it better.  I can only wait:  biding time, until time has finally worked its magic on  you.

Do something instead of killing time.  Because time is killing you.  
~Paulo Coelho