I'm stressed again. Not that stress isn't something I always carry around, but I've got an overwhelming dose of it lately. I'm in that "I have so much to do that all I really want to do is go back to bed and hide under the covers" stress mode.
Lets overview, shall we? Feel free to skip over the next couple of paragraphs and go right down to the picture. I just need to vent.
JOB: I'm in that stage where I don't want to go to work and feel like I am 2 months overdue for a vacation. I'm short tempered and have lost just about all of my compassion. I was complaining to a friend about it who told me I was describing burn-out. I have 6 more weeks til I'm on vacation. *deep breath*
I had a meeting at work last night that put me in such an angry funk, that after I drove around for awhile and came home and tried to relax, I ended up paying my bills online to make myself feel like I had at least accomplished something that day. This morning I realized I wasn't supposed to pay bills with this paycheck, I was supposed to pay my rent. WHOOPS. I knew something was off when I was paying them (like the absense of an electric bill - the only bill I have that changes from month to month). *deep breath*
My schedule changes weekly (yes, literally, changes weekly). The ONLY good thing about that is I'm supposed to get a 4 day weekend right after Thanksgiving. Which is about the time I'm planning to move. Which brings me to....
MOVING: I found a house. Its cute and quirky and roomy and pretty much perfect. I found it through a friend, so it was never listed online or anywhere else. What's the problem, you ask? Well, I saw it a week ago, shook the landlord's hand as he said he would mail all the paperwork to me to get started on the application and credit check process. And I haven't gotten the paperwork yet. I know he's a busy guy, but I hesitate to say "I'm moving!", when I haven't even been approved for the place yet. I want to call, but I don't want to bother him. *deep breath*
Which brings me to....do I start to pack? I look around and immediately become overwhelmed. Where the heck did I get all this crap? I should stop buying books. And fabric. And craft supplies. And soap. *deep breath*
OTHER STUFF: I have a lot of stuff to do otherwise. I want to get finished on birthday projects for the year (sorry to all of you who are owed belated gifts. I'm either working on them or have them somewhere in the works!) But, I don't want to drag everything back out if I'm just going to pack it up again. How silly is it to be sewing while I'm packing? Right? But since I'm not packing, do I start sewing? *deep breath*
TIME: I feel like I have no time to do everything. But then when I do have time, I indulge myself in my anxiety ridden worries and end up not being productive at all. *deep breath*
COPING: I am coping with stress by sweating it out at the gym. I know I spend probably too much time there, but I'm willing to do it because it gets rid of all the physical signs of stress I would normally have at this point: nausea, eye twitches, tension headaches, etc.
So, there you have it. What's been on my mind this week and what will undoubtably be on my mind for weeks to come. Sorry to vent, but I really needed to.
I'll end with a picture of Atticus. Who is stressed that I'm stressed. I keep telling him he's getting a fenced back yard to play in, but I don't think the message is getting through.
We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse. ~ Rudyard Kipling
