the poop story

so, last night i went out with my friend marka. (truth be told, we attended the opening of the movie eclipse. i'm a little embarassed to admit that.) i got out of the theater around 2:30 (yes, thats 2:30 am), picked up walker the dog who i was dog-sitting (see previous post), went home, and walked both atticus and walker for at least 30 minutes. i wanted to be able to sleep in the next morning and wanted their bladders empty.

about 4:30 i crawled into bed.

10:00 i was woken by whining. i rolled my eyes and fell back asleep. 10:30ish i rewoke to whining. FINE, i thought. i'll take walker (the whining dog) outside quickly, and then get back to bed.

i went out to the living room and rubbed by eyes, because i couldn't believe what i was seeing. there was a HUGE PILE OF POOP ON MY CARPET. meanwhile, atticus comes out and starts investigating. i was worried he would figure "oh, its okay for walker to poop here? then maybe i'll mark this spot too....". i shuffled them both outside and tied them up. i came back inside and almost gagged on the smell. i mean, seriously. gross.

i took a bunch of toilet paper, scooped up the poop, and threw it in my toilet. i mean, i could have put it in the garbage, but then i'd have to take the garbage to the dumpster. plus, where does does poop go, but in the toilet?

so yeah, i flushed. the toilet made a funny sound, but i didn't think much of it.

i scrubbed the carpet of all remnants of poop. tossed baking soda on top. lit some candles because it still STUNK.

mission accomplished, right?

wrong.

i went back to the toilet, planning on using it myself. the water level looked funny. so i flushed it to see what would happen...then watched in amazement as the water level quickly rose. i remember thinking that with the laws of gravity or something, the toilet won't overflow. (remember at this point i had very little sleep, and i had just cleaned up dog poop. i still hadn't had any coffee). well, the toilet didn't listen to me, and started to overflow.

luckily, i was quick-witted enough to reach that little twisty knob thing near the floor, and turned off the water. and luckily too, i had a fresh load of clean dog towels that i threw down to catch the cascading waterfall.

so, i now had a problem. i had to pee really really badly. and i dont own a plunger.

i quickly googled "how to unclog a toilet". most of the options included plungers, toilet snakes, and augers. there was one option that included boiling water and dish soap. so, i thought, what the heck. can't hurt anything.

for the next hour i poured pot after pot of boiling water in the toilet. i'd wait 5 minutes for it to drain, then turn on the water, and reflush. nope.

meanwhile, the dogs start whining on my porch. they want to go for a walk. or at least they want to find a bush to pee on.

FINE, i thought. so, i got dressed quickly, shuffled the dogs in my car, and drove to my friend mike's house. it was mike that started this mess, seeing as walker is his dog.

i let the dogs do their thing for awhile, and i went to search for a plunger. i also, unashamedly, used his bathroom. i'm sorry, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

mike apparently doesn't own a plunger. what in the world.

my next step is i called my friend marka. i poured out my story to her. after she stopped laughing she told me i needed a plunger.

i explained to her i didn't want to go buy just a plunger, because, seriously, how would that look? i would feel weird. and extremely embarassed. this is me we're talking about. when i went to buy a toilet brush while wearing my shorts with the holes under the back pockets and a tshirt with holes in the armpits (thinking i never see anyone i know), and i ran into a coworker. i still blush when i think about it. and that was just a toilet brush. i mean, EVERYONE uses them. not everyone uses a toilet PLUNGER.

marka suggested i go to a store i never frequent.

so, haha...i went to walmart, leaving the dogs at mike's house. and i went to the ghetto walmart. most people i know that still shop at walmart drive 30 minutes out of their way to go to the non-ghetto walmart.

luckily, they had self-checkout. i still felt weird carrying a plunger through the parking lot.

so, anyways, back in my bathroom....

i continued the boiling water thing...but this time with the plunger.

30 minutes later....most of that time waiting for water to boil...my toilet finally unclogs.

WHEW.

2 pm. rescued atticus. mike had come back, so i told him the story. after HIS laughter died down, i told him he owed me.

"independence comes with a price." ~ r.k. 988

dog sitting

i'm dog sitting a friends dog for about 24 hours. i WAS planning on just going over to his house a couple times to let him out, but...

i couldn't resist this face!!

walker (the dog) knows that just about every time i come over, he gets a ride to the dog park. he figured today was no different.

so i took him with me. :)

still not sure if i made the right decision:

• my tiny little apartment now has 105 more pounds of dog in it.
• every time one of them barks, the other one chimes in.
• walker is WAYYY too interested in my guinea pig erma.
• they wont leave me alone!!!!!!! when one comes over to me, the other one follows.

i made peanut butter biscuits to diffuse all the dog angst. they're now pretty darn satisfied...

busy weekend ahead!!! i have plans every single day. AND i still haven't finished micah's present yet. oi. i cut out the pieces for allison's birthday present (also belated), and i'm excited to start that one too, but its gonna be complicated and i need an un-interrupted several hours.

onward and upward!

"pants that are too short will nerd you up real fast." ~ k nichols

sneak peak

a sneak peak at my nephew micah's birthday present.....i know his birthday has already passed, but i severely underestimated the time it would take to complete it.







oi. another 2 (?) more days and it should be finished!

"if God has made the church bake sale a number one priority, then we're all in a lot of trouble. " ~ simon birch

7 days

breakfast of champions:



wait wait wait...before you judge, let me just explain my week...

IN NUMBERS:
7 days of work
60 hours of scheduled time
8 hours of overtime
countless hours of lost sleep (i blame atticus and his barking)


IN A PHONE CALL:
my hyperthyroidism has returned. my doctor advised me that i'm a statistical anomaly...he can't believe my thyroid isn't dead.

so guess what? i have to do everything all over again. tests. radioactive uptake. the works.


IN PICTURES:

i wear a variation of this outfit every day: sweatshirt, jeans, shoes. somehow the sun forgot to shine on washington this year. its chilly every day. ITS JUNE.




i came home to this one day. i'm assuming this dog belongs to one of my neighbors. she was standing outside my apartment barking. despite being some sort of aggressive-breed mutt, she was fairly sweet with me. but she did NOT like atticus. i tried to walk him and she kept charging at him and snarling. luckily, i have developed my own snarl and was able to break up a host of potential dog fights. i wanted to call animal control. instead (being the sap that i am), i fed her some food and water on my back porch when we were done walking. she was gone when i woke up.

i love the chinese food you buy in the freezer section. i know its weird, and its LOADED with sodium, but its delicious. except for the peas.

(monk would be proud)

the following is hard to see, but the sticky note says "PBR". i bet you will never guess what it stands for...

.

.

.

.

prolapsed bleeding rectum

yeah, see? the short story is my coworker told me a story about an arrestee who had a PBR, in as much detail as he could muster, and then left me the sticky note so i wouldn't forget about it. funnily enough, that note has been up on the console for almost a week. i've shared the details of PBR with everyone as well, and its become the mascot for that console. oi.

but as always, the bad tends to make you appreciate the good that much more...

"a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering." ~ my friend kurt's tattoo

ron

HAPPY FATHERS DAY PAPA!



"alicia, you know you're corrupting your mother." ~ my dad

back

this is kind of how i see my weekend...

one big blur.

now its back to work.

"love is a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species." ~ w somerset maugham

confirmed

so this morning at about 6am i checked my flight status for the day. both of my flights (boston to new york and new york to seattle) had the word "confirmed" by them. i clicked on the little blue line that says "whats this?" right next to the word. the pop up told me that this means "the flight status is confirmed". because apparently the only way to describe a word is by using the SAME word.

2 hours later my first flight is cancelled. not the biggest deal. i had a great day. i got to talk with my brother and new sister in law, i got to see their home, i spent some time in boston commons, i got lost trying to get back, and i spent some time with my good friend kurt. not a hardship.

i just checked my flight status for tomorrow. it says "confirmed".

i'm worried.



"[massachusetts] is the anti-gary state". ~ my brother in law, gary