Six

“You will see so many bad things in your career and you have to keep your emotions in check on a daily basis to keep doing your job. If you let it overwhelm you it will destroy you,” he said. “But once every six months one story...should get to you. You should take it home with you. It should make you cry. Feeling that means you are still human and the job hasn’t destroyed you. When you stop feeling that, stop doing what you are doing and find another job because you are in danger of losing your humanity.”
~ Travis Mayfield

Grief

Grief is a funny thing.  We all handle it differently.

Sometimes you think you can shove it aside.  But its always there, lurking under the surface of everything...making your stomach heavy and your heart slow...

And then it starts to leak out.  In tears.  In anger.  In voiced memories... 

You cannot run from grief.  You may be able to hide it from others.  But you cannot hide from yourself the fact that you are hurting.

It helps to have a family who is hurting too.  A community who is standing behind you.  Friends who are there when you need them. 

But grief is still grief...weighing you down.  Always there reminding you that life will truly never be quite the same as it used to be. 

(And then sometimes it becomes compounded by even more grief.  Yes, I knew him too).

Sorrow you can hold, however desolating, if nobody speaks to you. If they speak, you break down.
~ Bede Jarrett

Reflecting in the dark

2:30 am phone calls are never good.

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.
 ~ John Taylor

Happiness to the point of distraction

I can tell I had a great weekend by how much I forgot about the details of my coming week. 

Yes, this weekend was a good one. 

I hope you all have reasons to smile today. 

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe. ~ Doug Larson

Some less cryptic pictures of late

The picture that started a conversation.... 
Erin and I couldn't decide what to wear at home so we brought all our options to Seattle with us....

Girled up and ready to go out

Some ridiculous sugar-filled drinks. 

At the piano bar

After the Piano Bar

The day of the race.  My friend Kristen and I.  None of my other race photos turned out.  Stay tuned.

Last week a bunch of us went to paint pottery.  This is a "during" photo

"After" - the inside of the bowl.  Duh.

The outside.  Its so shiny and cool I couldn't take an unblurry photo.

Tax dollars hard at work.  Not yours hopefully.

Here is someone you might know:  I look sweaty and barely with it.  Feel free to browse all the skin I had to see in order to run.  It was for the children, after all...

It doesn't hurt to be optimistic. You can always cry later. ~ Lucimar Santos de Lima

4 years later

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate.
~ Thornton Wilder

What I woke up to this morning

The smell of cooked apples and spices in the air, and this in my crockpot...

Hmmm...looks kinda gross with this camera.  Anyways, those are almost completely cooked through apples.  I'm making apple butter.  Hopefully it finishes cooking by the time I leave this afternoon.  I'm going out with several friends to a piano bar and tomorrow is my run.  Even taking Atticus to a kennel to accomplish all this....

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups. ~ Rita Rudner